Scorn and Hatred
by mynameisvaleria
Summary: 'Helen', or'Zachary', heartless and cold, or so she claims. She's been since 15. Maimed with revenge, she steals aboard the Black Pearl as a boy. When her heart gets in between her better judgement, she's not sure if she can do this anymore. Jack/OC
1. Prolugue

**Helloo, dudes and dudettes. Can I make an assumption you all are dudettes? Oh well, I have this new story planned out but I don't know how well you'll like it. It's basically about a girl (not going to disclose her name yet, we'll call her Helen now), who wants revenge from Jack. Cliche?**

**Maaaaybe. Just maybe.**

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><p>Prolugue <em>July, 1695<em>

Some people are born with hatred. I was not. I became this way. Some were born with coldness and ice in their hearts, I was not. I became that way too.

It was the only thing in my mind right now as I stood here.

**Revenge.**

_Everything was perfect as it was. _

_I held a book in one hand, a pen in another. The pen poised just above the paper, I was about to write another piece of writing when I heard a loud explosive go off. Curious, I ran downstairs to see what could possibly make the noise. My hand flew to my mouth as I saw the house being wrecked by damned pirates. The house was in havoc. "There's a girl!" Someone exclaimed. Being 15 and very naive, I ran. And ran and ran._

_"Cap'n Sparrow! She's runnin' away!" Another voice said. I didn't give a backward glance. I just ran. Leaving all my prized possesions, my dresses, my works. My parents, my brothers. Most importantly, my heart._

_That explained the cold person I now was. _

_For years I lived a hard life. Still now, I am living a hard life. I play the guitar in the streets to make money. I sing. I've even danced for sadistic men in Tortuga. It became too much only after 1 night. _

_That was when I made my mind up. _

_I had to find Jack Sparrow. _

_I had to seek revenge. _

_He ruined my life, and my childhood. I only felt extreme hatred for him. I promised myself that as I very calmly walked to the nearest blacksmith store to buy a sword, and learn how to use it. _

It was how it all started. I do not know how it would end.

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><p><strong>Should I continue? Or should I not? I've written 2 chaps already. But they're kind of short.<strong>


	2. First Step

**Hey people! So this is the first chapter of the story. This story is going to be a short story. So each chapter will be relatively shorter. Although it's short, I will have two seasons. Well, at least I have planned for two seasons. I'll tell you the sequel name as I only have a few chapters in each season. Season two will be named 'Infatuated'. I hope you will like it. I will change the ratings as this story is going to have sexual preferences.**

**Sithlord8665: Aww, thanks. Sorry to have you misunderstand, Helen is the alias that the girl goes by. Sorry! I might have her change her name.**

**SailorSorcerer: Here's an update. I hope you like it. Love ya.**

**ShesASuperFreak317: Thanks. I hope you like this story. Really.**

**xJill Lovett: Yay! I got you curious. Successs.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own POTC or their characters except for 'Helen'.**

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><p>Chapter one. First Step <em>January, 1695<em>

Her hands were bound tight behind her back with ropes.

Refusing to kneel down before the captain Jack Sparrow, a crew member kicked her behind the knee to force her to. She gritted her teeth and willed herself not to cry out as her knee slammed on the wooden floorbed. _If only they knew I was a girl..._ She thought. But she didn't continue the thought, she knew they would never find out.

Her black hair was pulled back into a messy, loose braid and tucked into her hat. Her face was darkened with makeup. The only distinguishable feature was bound tightly by a cloth. It pained her greatly, but she decided it was worth it. He strolled casually around her. "What did she do?" He asked the crewmember who kicked her.

"What? You can't even ask me to my face?" She asked, annoyed. Her voice slightly deep for a girl, but just right for a boy. She was sent across the ship by the a crew member. She crashed into the barrels, bringing her hand up to her head, she checked for blood- there was none.

The captain pulled her up by her hair. She winced in pain, but she was simutaneously afraid that someone would recognize her as a girl. "So you might want to tell me what you did and who you are?" He said, leaning close to her face.

She stopped breathing. He leaned away and a slow smile spread across her face. "My name is Zachary. I killed one of your crewmember who was trying to steal my food."

He nodded. "And now what do ye think we should do to ye?" He asked, faking thoughtfullnes. "I want in to your crew. If you would be so kind to take me." She said forcefully, glancing down at the floor to avoid the Captain seeing her expression- full of hatred.

He laughed. "Ye killed a crewmember, and yet expect I take you?" He asked incredously. She continued breathing. "Ye surely playin'."

"What should we do?" Captain Sparrow yelled around the ship.

"Kill 'im!"

"Throw 'im aboard!"

She squeezed my eyes together. _If I die doing this, I'll die being a White. _She thought. She'll be able to see her family and she'll be forever ridded of this world so cruel. She'll no longer have to pretend to be strong and cold. She would no longer-

"Well, then..." He drawled as he drew up a gun, pointing it to her head. _Kill me then, and make it fast. _She tried not to be afraid as she looked up at the captain, who was smiling. She laughed at the irony that everyone in her family will end this way. Instead of meeting the death that should have happened, she heard clapping.

"Brave, lad." His voice cut into her thoughts and her eyes flew open in surprise. "Give ye one chance. Mess it up, ye die." He said as he threw my hat back to her. She slapped it on her head, and smiled. "Aye, Captain." He nodded towards an older man and he came forwards to bring me to a cabin. "Clothes in cabinet, ask me if you don't know anything." He smiled, melting the ice in her heart a little.

"If you'll excuse me..." She trailed off, insinuating that he should leave her be on her own with the clothes. He nodded and closed the door. Reaching for the fresh change of clothes, she slipped them on. She rebraided her braid and left it out, as there was no use putting it inside her hat as the crew had already seen her with it.

She opened the door and walked out. She got the feeling that the crew didn't like her for they glared as she passed by. "You're glancing at...?" She asked, faking politeness. There were eye rolls and head turnings. She smirked to herself and walked on. She found a women who was dressed as a pirate, and wondered why any girl would want to become a pirate. The women caught her staring. "What'cha starin' at?" She snapped, walking towards her. "Who are you?"

"Anamaria, Captain Sparrow's second mate." She said, still glaring at her. She smiled. "Nice to meet you." She started to walk away. Anamaria took a step forward. She stopped and turned around. "Can I help you with something...?" She asked. "You are not a boy." She accused her. Her head snapped up to look at her. "What?"

"You're a girl. I can see through ye disguises. What be your name?" She asked her. She blanked. "My name... my... all right. My name is Helen." She stuttered. Anamaria raised her eyebrows. "Ye don't seem quite sure." She commented. Helen sighed. "I am not sure I can tell you." She told her, oddly confiding in this women. Anamaria nodded. "All right. You shall tell me when you are ready." She said. Helen nodded. "Thank you."

Helen cleaned the deck, just as Captain Jack Sparrow ordered her to. _Ordered. _Sooner or later, mate, he will be under her order. Unless, of course, he chose not be be cooperative. Then she'd kill him. A smile found its way to her mouth and her lips curled into a brilliant grin. She'll get him. If it costs her life, she'll get him.


	3. What Is It You Feel?

**Hi, sorry for the long wait, I just wanted to finish and re-read it once first. The story plot really is quite dark and it does not have a happy ending. There's only eight chaps. There is a sequel, I've already started on it already. **

**Sithlord8665: Nah, it's me who was unclear. Sorry!**

**SailorSorcerer: She's strong now. She might not be later. But I hope you like that.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from POTC. I own 'Helen' and 'Zachary'. BTW, are you curious about her real name yet?**

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><p>Chapter two. What is it you feel? <em>March, 1695<em>

They stepped off the ship together. Months had gone by, even if Jack Sparrow didn't like his new cabin boy, he had to admit he was a good help. Of course, he picked fights with him and messed with him quite a lot, but he was unbelievably good at cooking. And a lot of chores he wouldn't have suspected in that boy. Maybe he was wrong.

No, captain Jack Sparrow was never wrong.

They were getting ready to raid a rich family. Zachary was dressed as a little boy and Jack as his brother. "Don't you dare mess this up, lad." He hissed to the boy. Zachary rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, captain. I will certainly mess this up for you." He said, sarcasm dripping from his tone. Jack rolled his eyes at his immaturity.

They fought with the butlers, and Jack stopped for a moment to watch the boy fight. Hm, he was kind of good. He guessed he was a lot mistaken about this little guy. He definitely had something about him. But he knew he was hiding something. That boy was planning something, and he had to keep caution.

As they finished up, they charged back to the ship to avoid being caught. Jack grinned at his cabin boy. "Thought you would be terrified of killin'. " He commented. Zachary rolled his eyes at him. Little did Jack know that he didn't actually kill anyone. He only knocked them unconcious. Jack patted the boy on his back. "Good guy." He said, walking away.

Zachary, or Helen, felt a tug from the bottom of her stomach as he walked away. She couldn't stop herself from staring at him as he walked into the cabin. She sighed. This was not a good sign. _Not a good sign._ Her brain repeated it.

Helen was out of her pirate clothing in a hotel room. She untied the cloth around her breasts. She sighed, she finally felt like a girl again. She put on her bodice and her corset, tightening the strings further and she drew in another sharp breath. _Suffer for this. _Her head told her. She let out the breath and went through her clothes, putting on a pale blue dress.

She walked out of her room and bumped into Jack Sparrow. "Watch your-" He started as he looked up at her. His frown melted into a grin. "Careful now, love. Might've fallen into some desperate guy's hands." Helen smiled fakely. "Well, how will I now if you are not one myself, Captain...?" She trailed off as if to inquire his name.

"Captain Jack Sparrow, love. Glad you got the captain part right." He smirked and tried to steal an arm around her. She slipped away elegantly. Jack raised an eyebrow. "Not easy, are you?" He asked, walking closer to her. She shook her head. "No. I am not." She answered as she turned and walked away. A voice screamed at her to go back and stay with him, but she ignored him and followed her brain, as always.

He didn't follow her, but he thought she seemed a little familiar. He couldn't quite place her face in his mind, but no doubt thought her quite amusing. Maybe he could catch her tomorrow or something... He sighed. He can't get infatuated with a mere girl when he has better things to pursue.

He looked for the girl he saw yesterday. He grabbed her by the arm as she tried to walk past him. "What be yer name?" He asked. She turned to him. "Helen." She answered, amused. He frowned. "How much do you charge?" He asked. She slapped him across the face. "I'm not sure I deserved that." He muttered. She smiled sarcastically. "I'm not a wench!" She exclaimed.

He watched her go again. Why was she so familiar to him?


	4. Revenge, or Failure?

**Hiii. I've watched On Stranger's Tides! Have you? I liked it, but the previous ones were better. I didn't really like Penelope Cruz.**

**Sithlord8665: Sorry, yeah I changed the ratings. There'll be minor sexual contents in later chapters. I swear it's not graphic though.**

**xJill Lovett: Yeah, I think it's She's The Man. I haven't seen the movie though. So, yeah...**

**So ya'll thought it was cliche didn't you? Wait until the later chaps. **

**OKay, you didn't say it was but I just wanted to say that.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything from POTC. Own 'Helen' and 'Zachary'. Her name's revealed in this chappie.**

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><p>Chapter three. Revenge, or Failure? <em>July, 1695<em>

Her posture was tall and menacing as she straightened up. "Jack. Sparrow." She spat out his name like it was something disgusting. He smiled and raised his eyebrow as a 'what'? She smiled scornfully. "I want revenge." He laughed and stepped towards her, closing in the space. "And what makes you think you'll achieve it?" He asked.

She narrowed her eyes. "2 years ago my family was perfect. My brother, my parents. You came and stole everything from me. You killed my family, and you tried to take me." She smiled bitterly. She paused while she thought. "I spent almost 2 years on the street. Our roles switched. I had to be the poor beggar in the street and rich people would look down on me. And I decided, I wanted revenge. I wanted what you took me from. I want your life."

He laughed at her, amused. "You want my life? That ain't so easy." He pulled his sword out and raised it at her. Finally, she thought. It was about time. Better do it before she started to really like him.

The fight was even matched on both sides. She was fast and tiny, but he was skilled and strong. Sometimes she missed by inches, sometimes he missed by inches.

But now, she was maimed with revenge, nothing could stop her. No, not the rain pouring down on them, not anything. Her anger caught her and she knocked down a barrel, knocking his sword to the floor. Her sword went to his neck. He laughed. "You don't have the courage to kill meh, lad." He said. She narrowed her eyes. "Or do I?" She asked him.

He nodded, amused. She glared at him irritatedly. "Then you are so wro-" She stopped short, thinking about when he spared her life. He never knew she was a girl, but nevertheless, she was attracted to him. She couldn't kill him, she couldn't.

Because she realized, she loved him. She hated him and liked him at the same time. She wanted him dead, but she didn't. He had stolen her heart in just a few months. If he died, she died. The sword that was on the captain's neck slowly lowered, and she dropped it. There was a loud clank.

The next thing she knew, the sword was on her neck. "I told you. We'll decide tomorrow if fate likes you, you live. If it doesn't, you die. Into the brig." He smirked and pulled her by her arm down to the brig. He slammed the door. "Good luck lad. You'll need it." She slumped down to the floor, crying. She knew it would do her no good to fall in love with Jack Sparrow. She wiped her tears and sniffed.

She let out another breath. She would no doubt, die tomorrow. But she wanted to die a White. She wanted to die a girl. She didn't want to die as Zachary, but as Katherine White. She released her hair from the braid, she unwrapped the cloth around her chest and she wiped the makeup off. "Katherine. Katherine White. You will be strong and you will be yourself. You may die tomorrow and it will all be good."

Smiling to herself, she set down on the floor, forgetting what might await her tomorrow. She fell into a deep sleep.

The footsteps woke her up next morning. "Such a pity. You were so brave and you..." He said as he walked down the stairs. He stopped short as he caught sight of her. "Who are you? Where is Zachary?" He snapped.

"Surprised?" She asked, walking closer to him. "Zachary White. Don't you remember the girl who ran away from the house? Don't you remember that there was only one boy?" She asked him. He paled. "Are you a ghost?"

She laughed. "No. I am that girl. She is not dead. My name is Katherine White. I am Zachary." She chose this name because it meant pure, like her name, Katherine, did. Realization crossed over his face and he smiled. "Ah... I was around a pretty girl all the time and I didn't realize." He stated, walking closer. He put a hand on the cell bar. "Why would you kill me?"

She laughed again. "I didn't. It was a mistake. It ruined me. Love, a disastrious thing." She paused to look at him. "Of course, my Jack Sparrow charms." He grinned, reaching in and touching her cheek. She didn't move away. "Maybe, yes. You'll never understand. You know why? You don't have a heart, Jack Sparrow. You've never loved before, have you? You don't understand the power." She sighed.

"You ruined me, Jack Sparrow. You ruined my chance to avenge my family. All because of you. All because I fell in love with you. I couldn't kill you. I am a total failure. Now, to pay for it, I'll have to die." She said, half crying, half laughing. Captain Jack Sparrow stared at the girl. The only thing he thought was, she was crazy. Crazed by revenge and love. Love made her crazy, and he was glad it did, it spared his life. However, he could not deny how beautiful this girl was. Maybe, just maybe he could have her before he killed her...

He reached and unlocked the door. Uncertainly, she stepped outside. He took a step back, wondering what this unpredictable girl would do. "Just... let me." She muttered as she walked towards him, her arms locked around his neck and pressed her lips against his. He was taken by surprise, but he responded by kissing back. After a few minutes or so, she pulled back. Jack Sparrow grinned. "That was amazing, love, but you still have to die though. After all, you still tried to kill me." He whispered next to her ear.

She stepped away, touching her lips. "I know. Before I die, I wanted to... do that." She said softly. "Come on, darling. The crew will be excited to meet you." He said as he pulled her out to the deck. The crew whispered among themselves as they saw her. Captain Sparrow smirked.

"Meet Katherine White, or... Zachary White." He announced, pushing her forwards. More exclaims broke out in the crowd and the captain shushed them. "Quiet!" He yelled. He smiled slyly. "I'd like to have my clothes back." He said. She took one look at the crew members before quietly removing her shirt and eventually her boots and pants slowly. The crew yelled in protest as they saw she was in a bodice.

Jack Sparrow pulled her arm, pressing him to her back. He began tying her hands together. "I'm sorry to waste such beautiful girl." He whispered next to her ear. Her eyes closed involuntarily and she felt something moist leak out of her eyes.

"Now go walk the plank." He said as he once again pushed her towards the wooden board. She stepped on it. Before she stepped off, she turned back and smiled hauntingly. "Bye, Jack. Don't forget me. Or... do." She closed her eyes once again and she stepped off the plank. She heard cheers, and the whoosh of the wind against her ears... She hit the water. She could swim, without her wrists bounded together.

She decided to just give up. Water rushed into her lungs. She remembered saying sorry to her mother, father and brother. She remembered saying I love you to Jack. She remembered blaming herself once against for her failure. And then she remembered nothing. Nothingness filled her as she could not make the difference out of the salty seawater and her salty tears.

Up aboard, Jack Sparrow stared into the dark waters. He shook his head. Pity the pretty girl tried to kill him, or he would have kept her. Sudden guilt filled him as he remembered how she kissed him and how bitter she felt.

Shrugging it off, he tried not to remember her saying 'Don't forget me. Or...do.' It haunted him for a moment. What was the pretty lass' name again? Caroline? Oh well, he needed to go on. His schedule was running late.

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><p><strong>Why am I so obsessed with the name Caroline? I don't know. It just sounds... I don't really like that name. Ooo, her nam<strong>**e's Katherine White.**


	5. Not dead?

**Hi, here is an insanely short chapter so I'll upload another one. **

**For this story, I skip unimportant parts so the parts you read will be the essence. Sorry! After I saw the On Stranger's Tides, I dreamt of mermaids the next night. Haha.**

**Sithlord8665: Thanks, glad ya like it.**

**ellaella: Cool, new reviewer. Thanks for taking the time. I really appreciate it.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything in POTC. Own Katherine White and all her aliases.**

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><p>Chapter four. Not... dead? <em>July, 1695<em>

Captain Norrington spotted a body on the seas.

He ordered the crew to sail towards the body, and he personally retrieved the body from the sea. It was a girl. The girl did not have any decent clothing on, only in her bodice. Was she taken advantage of? How could anyone do something like this to this girl? She looked frightened, and so hopeless. Unless, of course it was pirates who did this. His mouth curled in disgust and he began to hit her chest, trying to get her to spit water out.

She turned to the side and coughed water. At last, she sat up and looked down at her lack of clothing. She blushed a deep shade of red and Captain Norrington handed her his coat. "You all right, miss...?" He trailed off, clearly inquiring her name.

"Katherine. Katherine White." She answered quietly. The captain frowned. "The Whites... The former government's family? I thought they were raided by pirates 2 years ago. Everyone was killed..." He said. A ghostly smile appeared on her lips. "That's was they all thought. I was the youngest child. I ran away when they tried to tun after me."

"How did you... did pirates kidnap you?" He asked her. She shook her head. "No. It was I who joined them." The captain's face paled. "You... are a pirate?" He asked again. She laughed lightly, despite herself. "I joined the crew, because they were the very same crew who killed my family." She answered bitterly. Norrington nodded her head in sympathy. "So it is revenge you seek?"

She nodded. "I first joined their crew as a boy. I was close to getting revenge. I had my sword up to his neck, his on the floor. That was till I realized I had fallen in love with the bloody pirate. He ruined all my chances of avenging my family members. Why does love make you do stupid things?"

"You are in love with the Captain?" Norrington asked, curious of this mysterious girl's life. She nodded. "What was his name?" He asked. She looked up at him, into his eyes. Her face was serious. "Captain Jack Sparrow." She answered.

She smiled again. "You think you have saved me, captain, but you have not. When I get back, I will either be hanged, or I will starve to death in the streets." She said, becoming quiet as she went towards the end of the sentence. "You will not." Norrington's tone was sharp and serious. "I will have you very appropriately arranged to a family." He said. She looked at him in surprise. "Thank you."

Although that was what she said, she had not planned on staying sometime soon. She knew she had lost all means of living properly. Maybe she will go to Tortuga, lose her feelings for Jack, and start the revenge business all over again.


	6. Katherine White, Helen and Zachary White

**Be warned of mature content. Uhh... no graphic, promise.**

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><p>Chapter five. Katherine White, Helen and Zachary White <em>February, 1697<em>

**2 Years later**

They were standing in line. Captain Sparrow needed a crew. "Feast your eyes, Captain. All of them, faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt. And crazy to boot." Gibbs told Jack.

"So this is your able-bodied crew?" A man who had medium length sandy hair said. "You, sailor!" Jack said, pointing to a man. "Cotton, sir." Gibbs answered. "Mr. Cotton ? do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" He asked. There was no answer from him. "Mr. Cotton!" He snapped. "Answer, man!"

"He's a mute, sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how." Gibbs said. Jack made a face as Mr. Cotton stuck out his stub of a tongue. "Mr. Cotton 's... parrot. Same question."

"Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" The parrot 'said'.

"Mostly, we figure, that means yes." Gibbs informed Jack. "O'course it does." He turned to the man. "Satisfied?" The man looked at him curiously. "Well, you've proved they're mad." A voice called loudly, "And what's the benefit for us?" It was a strong feminine voice. Jack slowly walked over to her and took off the large hat covering her face. "Anamaria." He smiled nervously.

She slapped him across the face rather hardly and his face turned over to the other side. "I suppose you didn't deserve that one either." The man said, his tone full of sarcasm. "No, that one I deserved." He answered.

"You stole my boat!" She yelled in a high-pitched voice.

"Actually-" He got cut off as she slapped him again. The person next to Anamaria winced. "Borrowed. Borrowed without permission. But with every intention of bringing it back to you." Jack retorted. "But you didn't!" She yelled again.

"You'll get another one." He assured her.

They quarrelled over it a bit and then they finally agreed on the ship. "Anchors aweigh!" Jack shouted. "Jack. Sparrow. Captain." A voice said. It came from the one who was next to Anamaria. Jack turned to the person. "Aye?"

"Shouldn't you check all the crew members first?" Jack thought for a moment. "No." He made to walk away. "Don't you recognize me?" She asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. Jack frowned and looked at her. "No, sorry, lass. You are quite the scene though." He smirked at her. She laughed without humor. "Dear captain, let's all stop pretending. 'Don't remember me. Or... do.' Familiar with you?" She asked. Jack remembered, and gulped. He shook his head. "Nope."

He turned to walk away. "Zachary White, Captain. Helen." He turned and frowned at her. She rolled her eyes. "I went by Zachary White, Helen. And Katherine White." Jack Sparrow sighed. There was no way he could deny this now. He walked towards her. He leaned in close to her. "What do you seek?" He smiled. Katherine smiled back to him. "Revenge. One for attempting to kill me. The other for my family. As soon as I figure out my feelings for you." She whispered next to his ear.

He smirked and leaned away. "You may join the crew... love." He finished as he walked back to his stolen ship, praising himself silently for the getting the girl. Katherine followed Anamaria into the ship. "So ye be Helen." She said. Katherine nodded. "Yes." She replied.

"I knew you were someone else." Anamaria said as she smiled and patted her shoulder. Katherine flashed back a brief smile and walked away. Jack Sparrow pulled her arm. She turned to him. "Yes?" She asked. He smiled and backed her against the walls off the cabin."You do not think you would pay for what you tried to do?" He asked. "You tried to kill me, I tried to kill you. We're square." She told him. He flashed her a sly smile. "My life is more important than yours, love."

Her eyes narrowed. "Or is it?" She challanged. "Of course." He replied smoothly as he backed away from her. "Then what do you want?" She asked, knowing clearly what he wanted. He smirked. "You know." He stated as he reached for her cheek. She wanted to move away but she didn't. She knew this would happen if he really wanted to try. And she knew he really wanted to try.

He planted a kiss on her lips and pushed her on the bed. She tried not to show her fear as he walked on towards her. He leaned in to kiss her fully and she kissed back, him being the one she loved. He reached for her clothes and undid buttons in a proffessional way, seeing that he had done this a lot of times already. His hands roamed over her body, wanting more of this as she trembled under him. He was too busy to noticed this.

"Jack..." She whispered. He put a hand over her mouth. She looked up at him, unable to express anything with her features. He took off his own clothing and started kissing her again.

She stifled a cry as he went into her. His hands locked her wrist into place. "Relax, love." He assured quietly. She bit her lip to keep herself from screaming out as he continued his action. She had to wait untill he was done. But at the same time, she couldn't deny that she wanted this too. As he finished up, they went quiet.

"You got what you wanted, now we're square." She said quietly, breaking the silence and reaching for her clothes. She slipped them on and Jack watched her, he had finished putting on his clothes a while ago. "You're pure...?" He asked. She turned back and smiled sadly. "Not anymore, captain." She answered, turning and walking out through the door. He watched her go again. _Great, Jack, just great. You've just taken a girl's virtue. And now you're feeling guilty for it. You're Captain Jack Sparrow, mate! _He thought.

"Kate, love." Jack said, an arm slipping around her shoulder. She looked to the left at him. She tried to force a smile. "Captain Jack." She answered. He leaned in next to her. "What's with the formality, love?" He breathed. She laughed without humour. "We never was on a first name basis." He raised his eyebrows, amused. "Shall we start now, Kate love?" He asked her. She didn't answer at first. "Treat me right and we should." She answered.

He reached over to lift her chin in his hand. He kissed her on the lips softly. "Maybe we should... Jack." She whispered.


	7. Love and Need

**Heey~ For the sake of my insanely short chapters, I will upload another one. Again. Shad face. No reviews. Oh well...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from POTC. Only Kate.**

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><p>Chapter six. Love and Need <em>February, 1697<em>

Jack had his arm around Kate, they were walking down Tortuga.

A red haired girl walked up to them. "Who's that?" She asked sharply. Kate pulled away from Jack, knowing he didn't want her to be around. "Scarlet!" He exclaimed. She slapped him with great strength. "I'm not sure I deserved that." He muttered. "Bitch." Kate said under her breath. She fell behind and let Jack walk on his own, as much as she didn't want to.

She did anything to try to please Jack. She hoped that by doing this, he would appreciate her for who she was, and he would start to love her back. She knew he didn't, as much as he told her he did.

Another blonde haired girl walked by. "Who's she?" She said, referring to Scarlet. "Giselle!" He exclaimed again. Kate's heart sank at how he sounded excited upon the sight of her, and the fact he knew so many girls. "What?" Jack asked. Giselle slapped him, even harder than Scarlet did. "I might have deserved that." He said.

Jack looked back at Kate. He sighed and went to slip an arm around her waist. "Come on, love. You know I only love you." He said smoothly. Kate smiled convincingly and nodded. "Of course, Jack. I'm just..." She sighed. "Jealous." She lied. Jack stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. "Don't be. You have no need to be." She nodded again, ignoring the slight throbbing pain in the bottom of her stomach.

"Let's get a room, Kate." He smirked at his inplication. "Since I turned down those pretty ladies..." Kate sighed and rolled her eyes. "All right. You know I don't... never mind." She stopped telling him what she wanted to say because she just wanted to give him what he wanted.

"Excellent." He smiled as he pulled her to the nearest hotel or diner that he could find. The dull knife went at her again, twisting against her stomach as it was brought out. He didn't even realize how hesitant she was. He didn't realize how much she yearned to please him. He didn't realize she only did this with him because she loved him.

_He's using me_, she realized.

But she still went when Jack pulled her into a room. She still kissed him back when he kissed her. She still did everything he wanted her to. She loved him. She still hoped that one day, he will realize that she had been there for him all along, that he will love her for who she is. She only dared hope.

Kate walked back onto the ship by herself. Jack had probably found himself another girl to mess with. Her heart felt like it was being burned. She gave it to Jack and she got it broken in return. _It's Captain Jack Sparrow, Kate. What do you expect?_ She asked herself. She didn't even know why she used the nickname Jack made up for her. She sighed. _I should never have fallen in love with Jack Sparrow._

It's too late to turn back, she thought. She was right. It was too late to turn back. She had already given everything she had to him. Her love, her words, her promise to everyone, her heart, her virtue and along with every physical thing she owned, including her body. She sat down on the railing and started to cry. She heard footsteps next to her. "Is it Jack?" Anamaria's voice said next to her. "I love him. I did everything for him. I wanted him to love me back, but what had he done for me? He doesn't love me back. He never did, he never will."

Anamaria sat down next to her. "Kate, you know, he will find out who's good for him and who's not." She told her assuringly. Kate shook her head. "He won't. He doesn't know how to love, Ana. He only wants sex. He doesn't understand that I don't wan to be only his wench. That's who I am to him, no matter how many times he lies through his teeth that I'm not. You an I both know this is true." She told Anamaria bitterly.

Anamaria couldn't say anything, because she knew what Kate said was true. She knew that both of them knew what Jack was. Kate stood up, brushing off her pants, she walked into the cabin. She collapsed into the bed, traced the Sparrow tattoo on the back of her shoulder, and fell asleep.


	8. Left Behind

**Warning: Dark, dark chapter. There's... mention of rape?**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything from POTC. I own Katherine White.**

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><p>Chapter seven. Left behind <em>late February, 1697<em>

Kate stretched and walked out of Jack's cabin. She sat on the railing and wondered why she was still doing this. She understood fully and was fully aware that he was using her. She knew he didn't love her for who she was, he only used her for his own needs. And she was only a wench in his otherwise dull life.

She sighed. "Hello ,love." Jack said as he slipped an arm around her waist. She turned her head a little. "Mm." She answered.

"We need a key, love. You can find it by pleasing this man." He told her. She whipped around to face him. "What?" She demanded. Jack frowned. "I said..." He started but she cut him off. "You know what? Okay. Fine. I'll do it. Meanwhile, do you want anything else from me? I don't know, maybe my hair? Cut it off and sell it. I mean, you've already got most of me already. My body, you could just sell it. My heart, you could just break it. I mean, nobody would care. I wouldn't." She finished her rant. Jack opened her mouth to say something.

She held her hand up to stop him. "You know what? Don't say anything." She said as she went into his cabin and changed into a dress. She wiped off the tears that were threatening to overfill her eyes. Jack Bloody Sparrow. Trust him to turn her into a whore. Trust him.

She stalked out of the cabin and off the ship. She knew what to do. Seduce this man, steal his key and run. This was neverending. She does whatever he tells her to. She has to. She found the man she was supposed to look for, and she started to flirt with him. She felt an uncomfortable feeling as he slipped his arm around her waist and led her to a room.

She pushed off his jacket while slipping her hands into the pocket to steal the key. As she finished the kiss, she pulled away and whispered in his ear, "Sorry." She leaned back and hit the back of his neck, and he fell down, blacking out immediately. She gently felt her hand. Knocking people out was painful. For them, and yourself.

She stepped out of the room and walked back on the ship calmly. It would make her even more suspiscious if she ran. She wasn't that stupid. Only stupid enough to give herself over to Jack Sparrow. She slapped the key at his chest and he took it. "Thanks love..." He said as he looked after her. He pulled on her arm. "Kate, love. I'm sorry. Let me... make it up to ye?" He asked. She looked at him, knowing what he had up his sleeve. She shook her head. "No. I can't. I can't do this anymore." She said frustratedly.

"What's wrong, Katherine White?" He sounded angry now, as if he had gotten used to her doing what he asked, he wasn't used to her refusing him. She turned around at the use of her full name. "Me. I'm all wrong. You're wrong. Everything's wrong." She answered as she leaned over the railing, taking in sharp breaths.

He didn't follow her, he turned on his heels and walked away. She hear his footsteps die away and decided that he really truly did not like her. She stepped off the ship to the streets of Tortuga. She did not like this place, but she had nowhere else to go. She couldn't go back to Jack, she didn't want to see him. She didn't want anything to do with him. Not just yet.

She tried to calm down, but she just couldn't. After what he'd done to her. She wasn't herself anymore. What happened to the strong girl who never cried? What happened to the one who never had any feelings? What had Jack Sparrow done to that girl?

And when she finally convinced herself to go back on the ship, she overheard Jack talking to Anamaria. "So you're just going to leave her all alone in Tortuga?" Anamaria asked. Kate heard this, and quickly hid behind a tree to prevent herself from being spotted. Jack rolled his eyes impatiently. "She's pulling us behind, Anamaria. Besides, Gibbs doesn't like having female precense around." He retorted to Anamaria, starting to untie the ship. "She loves you, Sparrow! She's in love with you, can't you see that?" She exclaimed. Jack shot her a cheeky grin. "Yes, I've known that. A lot of women fall for ol' Jack."

"She did everything for you, and in return you leave her." Anamaria stated. Jack nodded. "Well, it was her choice to leave." He answered simply. It was too much for the girl who was hiding, trying to stay hidden. She couldn't remember when she fainted, she couldn't say where. She knew it wasn't where she should be.

Still on the street, she woke up. With everything valuable stolen from her, she was all alone. The _Black Pearl _was no longer docked and she no longer had anyone by her side anymore. She couldn't just bear to think of what job she'd have to do if she wanted to keep alive. _Certainly not prostitution. _She thought. She had had enough of that with Jack.

Sometimes, she would steal. And sometimes, she would simply sing. This night, she was singing for the men in the bar. It was dark, she couldn't see who she was singing for.

There was one particular face in the crowd. He was listening intently to the familar voice of the girl he once was aqquaintanced with. As she finished and walked back to the table she was at, he went to the bar keeper and striked a deal with him. The keeper smiled and shook hands with him. "No problem." He had said.

Kate was drinking a glass of rum very slowly. She didn't like alchohol, but she had no other choice. The keeper made his way to her, pushing through the crowd. "Someone requests to see you." He told her harshly. He did not like her well, she did not sleep with him. "I'm sorry. I sell my voice, not my body. I do not-" He cut her off. "Well, he is paying well and you will not deny him. You live off my room and food, girl, you will do what I say." He leaned dangerously close to her. It would not be wise to argue further. She grinded her teeth together and followed him to a room.

As she raised her hand to knock, a blindfold was put over her eyes. She stifled a scream by slapping her hand over her mouth. "What was that for?" She asked. "He requests." He answered. "I will not do this. I am not a prosti-" She stopped as a cool sharp edge pressed against her neck. "Don't test, girl. Don't make me use violence." He hissed. She swallowed her pride and knocked. "Commin." She heard. She pushed the door open.

"Excuse me sir, how may I, be of your service?" She asked politely. She heard movement, and a warm hand led her to sit on a bed. "I just noticed your voice earlier. I also could not fail to observe your undeniable beauty." The voice answered. It was strangely familiar, but was spoken so that she could not recognize it.

"I am sorry, sir. I do not sell my body, only my voice." She replied the usual answer. It did not stop this man. "It's a pity to hear. But what choice do you have?" He asked. "I have the advantage of seeing, which you do not." His tone was playful and cocky. She opened her mouth, but it was covered. "Now, love. Tell me, what is your name?"

He uncovered her mouth. "Helen, sir." An amused smile crossed his face, but of course, she could not see it. _And I'm Jack Sparrow. _He thought. _But you don't have to know that._ Jack kissed her and laid her back on the bed. She started to push him away but he caught her resisting hands and pulled them above her head, he then proceeded to rip of a piece fabric off her dress and secured her hands there.

She struggled against her bonds with no avail. "What, pray, do you want from me? Do you just wish to take me forcefully?" She asked, voice shaking. Jack laughed. "Love, I have a feeling it will not be forceful." He said as he leaned to kiss her again. He pulled open her dress and bodice. He then pulled away to discard his own clothes.

Her eyes closed and she felt the complete stranger push himself into her. Her hands clenched into fists tightly above her head and she bit her lip furiously to keep herself from screaming out from the pain. "Don't resist... love." He panted as he worked himself into her again and again. A cry broke through her lips and he slackened his pace. "I'm sorry, love. Am I hurting you?" He asked gently. She nodded slowly, slightly, tears starting to soak through the thin piece of cloth over her eyes. He kissed away the tears that dropped down her cheek. "Don't cry." He said again. _How am I supposed to do that? When you're raping me? _She thought.

"I'll... try..." She sobbed, trying hard not to cry hysterically. He finished a little longer than it usually took, and he freed her hands, but kept the blindfold on. He put on his own clothes and started away. "Sir?" She asked in a small voice. He turned around, smiling. "Aye?" He asked. She played with her hands. "I wish... I only... You know... pay...?" She finally asked. He laughed. "Money, you say?" He asked. Shame crashed over her and she flushed. She nodded faintly. There was a sound of money being dropped and the door slammed close.

At first, she only sobbed softly. A few minutes later it had turned into hysterical crying and she was shaking madly, she pulled off her blindfold and buried her head into her hands. Incredible shame crossed over her and she shakily reached for her torn dress. She put it on and tried to take a step. Seeing she did not fall, she walked across the room and out the door. The keeper was waiting outside. He smirked at her tear-stained face. "The money's in the room." She whispered. She attempted to walk past him, and he stopped her. "I want that back." He said. She passed the wet blindfold to him and he took it. She ran past everything, bumping into almost everything too.

She stopped at the table. She did it. She did the lowest thing everything could do. She had sex with a complete stranger. _Jack, where are you? Would you get mad at me?_ And then she realized he was already mad at him. This was wrong. This was so wrong.

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><p><strong>I almost cried while writing this and reading it again. I swear.<strong>


	9. Sacrifice

**Hey guys. Imma upload the whole series. There is a epilogue after this one. I'll update it. **

**xJill Lovett: Erm… haha. I didn't mention it but she had gotten it in Tortuga after Jack made her walk the plank. Yeah…**

**SailorSorcerer: It's okay. I'll be quite busy cos I have exam coming up. I'm going to update this whole story so I can study without feeling guilty with leaving you guys on the line.**

**Yeah, I have to study so I won't be able to update in a while. Maybe after 21****st**** June. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from POTC. I own Katherine White.**

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><p>Chapter eight. Sacrifice <em>March, 1697<em>

Kate was simply hitching a ride on a ship when she saw a ship that looked curiously like the _Black Pearl _being attacked by one of the Navy ships. "Should we help them?" She asked the captain. He raised his brows. "That's the ship of Captain Jack Sparrow." She informed him. Little did this captain know that with every word she spoke of Sparrow's name that it pained her greatly. He turned the ship around and dropped her off to the _Pearl. _"You may help him." He replied as he turned his own ship around.

She ran to Anamaria. "Anamaria! What's happening?" She asked. The girl looked at her. "Kate! Where'd you come from? Help us!" She cried as she turned to fight another soldier. She didn't know what to do. She tried to look for Jack. She spotted him, but she couldn't find a weapon. He was fighting another soldier. She watched as they exchanged swords. She watched in horror as a man almost stabbed Jack in the back. She looked between the man and Jack. Desperately, she threw herself in between them, unable to see him getting hurt.

Impossible pain shot through her stomach and extended all over her body. She screamed. As soon as Jack heard the scream, he whipped around after he killed the one he was fighting. A feminine form slumped to the floor in pain. He finished the other one and caught her in his arms, bringing her over to where they could stay for a bit. He raised her chin. His eyes widened. "Katherine!" He exclaimed. He ripped open her dress in the middle, looking at the wound. Her lips were white from the pain. Blood was pouring out from her wound, and she was about to die soon.

"Jack." She whispered. "No. No you can't die." He said desperately, feeling a sharp pain at the left side of his chest. He ignored it. "I will." She replied. "I should have died years ago."

He shook his head. "No, you shouldn't. It is me who should be dying." He said. Kate shook her head. "Do me a favour, Jack. Remember me. Really remember me, not like last time. Or maybe I can stay at the back of your mind. Even if you forget me, just remember someone loved you back then." He frowned. "I love you!" He exclaimed desperately as he watched the life drain away from her. "No, you don't. You never did. You never would have." She said weakly. "Leave now Jack. Let go of me. Save yourself. I won't live anyway. It's my last wish. Let go." She faltered a bit. He shook her. "No. I won't leave you." He persisted. He never until now realized how he felt for Katherine White. He loved her.

"Let. GO." She said, stronger. She coughed up a little blood. Jack stroked her cheek. "It was me who had you that night in the bar, Kate. It was me. Do something, get angry at me, or slap me." He stopped to take a look at her reaction. She merely smiled forgivingly as a drop of tear spilled over her cheek. He wiped it away. "Come on, _do something!_" He screamed. She shook her head. Gathering the rest of her strength, she mouthed _I forgive you. _

_Love is destructive. _This was the sentence that floated in her mind, along with a thousand echoes of _Jack _all over and over again. _I love you. _She couldn't say it, what was wrong with her? Why couldn't she find her voice? "I raped you, aren't you mad at me?" He screamed yet again. She tried to move her head, it was too heavy. _NO. _She thought desperately. She couldn't say it, she couldn't say she forgave him. She couldn't say she was glad it was him. Her thoughts were cut off mid-sentence.

The hand that had been grasping his went limp and her eyes fell close. He shook her with no avail.

Tears were blurring his sight. He did her final wish. He laid her down on the floor and he let go of her. With new found strength, he pulled his sword out and started fighting. They killed her. The Navy killed her, he had to have revenge.

After he killed most men, he went to retrieve her body.

When he went back, she wasn't there. He looked frantically everywhere. He couldn't find it. She was taken. He screamed at the sky and the ocean. He screamed at everything that got in his way. The love of his life died and it was his fault.

He broke down and cried.

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><p><strong>Jack Sparrow's crying? What had I done?<strong>

**Okay, so I almost cried while writing this too. It's kinda sad...**


	10. Epilogue

**The last, last chapter. **

**I hope you enjoy it. There will be sequel to this story. Working on it. But I want to keep you thinking for a while. Wow, I'm mean. Actually, I didn't plan on a sequel at first but I was afraid some of you didn't like sad endings. If you're okay with it, you can end here so the story won't be a little ridiculous. **

**But you could read the sequel too...**

**Disclaimer: I hate writing disclaimers. I do not own anything from POTC. I did own Katherine, but she's kinda dead right now.**

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><p>Epilogue <em>December, 1697<em>

Nine months has passed since Katherine died. Captain Jack Sparrow was steering his ship as usual. He had put Katherine at the back of his mind. He no longer felt love for anyone anymore. She made him stronger than ever before.

He was the captain of the _Black Pearl. _

He sailed the seas and everyone has heard of him. His only love was for the sea, and the _Pearl. _

In other words, everything was back to normal for Jack. He smiled and reached for his map. Now where should he go? He took out his compass.

It pointed South.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed the series. I'll be back. In about… 3 weeks.<strong>


	11. Infatuated sneak peek

**Hi people, I'm here to say that Infatuated, the sequel to Scorn and Hatred is officially here! So Please go to read it. Please?**

**Sneak peeks:**

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><p>Jack frowned. Helen... White... Katherine! Impossible, Katherine was dead. He watched her die! "Katherine...?" He asked, paling.<p>

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><p>"Kate's dead." He said simply.<p>

Helen stared at him. "What?" She asked.

"She's dead. She took the blade for me, okay?" He snapped, annoyed.

"Why?" Helen whispered.

"She fell in love with me. She loved me so much she was willing to die for me. I was so terrible to her. I didn't remember her, I used her, I took her by force. She still loved me. I never realized untill now that I loved her too." Jack answered quietly, regretfully.

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><p>'That's the second time I've watched the love of my life sail away with the <em>Black Pearl.<em> Once with Katherine, the second with Helen. I swear if I take a look at the heart that's in his possesion, it'd be broken into a million peices like glass splinters.'

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><p><strong>Good? Well, I hope so because that's all I've got!<strong>


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